Does Love End?
During my first divorce, which was extremely unusual because I continued to live with my ex-wife for 3 years afterward…its a long story, people were shocked to see us acting warmly toward one another. It truly bothered them. This was hard for me to believe.
It is still hard for me to believe, or understand. The idea that you should not feel love and friendship toward a person who at one time was the most important person in your life is quite odd to me. I am not playing dumb, I just do not get it. Neither do my ex-wives, all two of them.
I have a continuing relationship with my ex’s, even the second one that can get extremely angry and litigious, and believe me she can – but we still speak on the phone often, and with great friendship and fondness for one another. What can I do, I just trigger her sometimes and she just triggers me sometimes, but I will always love her and enjoy her company. Sorry.
People Do Not Like Grey Areas
When I went to get coffee this morning I ran into a friend, a friend that I consider “spiritual” and “open minded”, and the type of person that would totally understand this sort of thing. We had the idle chit-chat you have in a coffee que, asking about each others day and things like that. “Today, I am going to see my ex-wife” after telling them my current wife is out of the country visiting her family. I got the “look”.
This actually surprised me because I had forgotten how people react to someone enjoying the company of a past spouse or even a past lover, but I think a past spouse seems to bother people more than a past lover. I wonder why? Anyway, WTF?
When I explained that my current wife and ex-wife get along with each other and we all see each other often, I got some surprise and shock and the kind of wonderment that only comes from people that no longer understand the rules. We humans seem to like rules. I never have.
Lets Change The Rules
The rules need to be changed. I am not so naive as to expect the whole of humanity to become enlightened and realize that love itself is more important than the form a relationship takes. Most people still get nervous by gays being married even though there is no danger they themselves will ever be forced to marry a gay person. Even more sadly, many people still believe God cares one way or the other. That God is more concerned about gays marrying than 25% of the entire world population dying from starvation on a planet with plenty of food. They may not even be aware, or believe, anyone in the world is starving. If they are aware I am sure they care very much about it. But right now they have bigger problems to deal with, there are gay people out there trying to get married dammit.
Back on topic now. Love includes the pains and traumas of life, of relating to one another, it includes all forms of relationship and all the changing forms relationship might take. There is never a reason to ditch love or throw love out the window. When you throw out love you throw out a piece of your heart, you lessen your ability to love, to tolerate, to grow, and worst of all to see that everything is love. That may sound cliche’ but it is the truth.
Until the consciousness of humans develops a little more we need a Messiah. We need a new Moses to come down off the mountain with new rules about love and marriage. Maybe that will be Brad Pitt, the masses seem to like superstars for their prophets now. Brad, it is time for you to become a prophet, speak to God, and then let the world know the truth. We love you. Now, get up there and start chipping on some rock.